“My little baby is going to secondary school so soon but I have no idea how will it be like for him and for me!”
Ah, the memories from secondary school bring back mixed feelings for many of us. There are some really sweet and mellow ones, some embarrassing ones and some really bitter ones. Now that our child’s time has come, we will definitely wish to accompany them every step of the way, but what is the appropriate amount of care and concern should we provide? How about the balance between leniency and strictness? Worry not, here is something simple and effective to help you deal and keep up with your child’s growth! If you will love to read a quick (and fun!) one about legit secondary school tips and insights, click here ! Now, let’s dive in!
Tip for Parent #1 – Space & Trust
Remind them that it’s normal to feel nervous going to a new environment. Assure them that there will definitely be adversities but things are going to be okay. Let them know you will always be there for them. When they keep secrets from you, like the fight with their best friends or a breakup, don’t worry too much! They’re growing up and will need a bit of space. Give them space to figure out their style of resolving conflicts today, so they will know how to solve problems tomorrow. Be cautious, don’t allow your over-protectiveness to turn into their burden and hindrance! You had your secrets too, and that’s a beautiful and exciting part of those nostalgic school days!
Tip for Parent #2 – Teach By Example & Communication
Words and emotional expressions play a huge part in the construction of self-identity during those sensitive teenage years. These are the years when experiences and values will affect their character and personality. Providing a healthy environment, starting from family interaction cannot be stressed enough. Good bonds can be fostered easily, especially through chatting about trivial matters during car rides or mealtime. Accept that there will be conflicts between you and them. Start getting used to asking: “How was your day?”
Tip for Parent #3 – Independence & Guidance
Some parents panic when their bright kid doesn’t get the A’s like how they used to in primary school. Rushing your child to endless extra classes might not be the best way to help the child. Instead, ask “what’s wrong?”, are they just trying to settle down or are they really lost? Sometimes they will need support and guidance from parents and teachers, but can be embarrassed to speak up. Provide guidance indirectly, prompt gently instead of stripping off their sense of autonomy and leaving them feeling powerless. It is also important to remember that sometimes, they will feel resistant to our legitimate interference; don’t stop communicating and loving.
Tip for Parent #4 – Maturity & Childishness
Their state of mind and body undergoes gradual changes, resulting in waves of imbalance and instability especially emotionally. It is worse when they are pushed into a new and unfamiliar environment. Often times, their self-awareness and self-consciousness grows much faster than the level of independence and sense of judgement. This delay results in emotional fluctuations such as feeling accomplished, joyful and carefree sometimes and other times inferior, awkward and defensive. Parents who assume that this is them being ‘emotional’ can make kids feel frustrated.
Dear Daddy and Mummy… We hope that these quick tips and tricks have helped ease your nervousness a little. Let’s sit back, relax, and embark on this beautiful journey with our children!